2h | Comedy, Romance | 14 April 1959 (Japan)
Director: Billy Wilder
Writers: Billy Wilder (screenplay), I.A.L. Diamond (screenplay)
Stars: Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon
Jerry: Have I got things to tell you!
Joe: What happened?
Jerry: I'm engaged.
Joe: Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?
Jerry: I am!
[at the booking office, trying to be hired]
Joe: What kind of a band is this, anyway?
Sig Poliakoff: You gotta be under twenty-five.
Jerry: We could pass for that.
Sig Poliakoff: You gotta be blonde.
Jerry: We could dye our hair.
Sig Poliakoff: And you gotta be girls.
Jerry: We could...
Joe: No, we couldn't!
Jerry: Now you've done it! Now you have done it!
Joe: Done what?
Jerry: You tore off one of my chests!
Joe: There's another problem.
Jerry: Like what?
Joe: Like, what are you gonna do on your honeymoon?
Jerry: We've been discussing that. He wants to go to the Riviera but I kinda lean towards Niagara Falls.
Junior: Syncopators. Does that mean you play that very fast music... jazz?
Sugar: Yeah. Real Hot.
Junior: I guess some like it hot. I personally prefer classical music.
Junior: [Kissing] I think you're on the right track.
Sugar: I must be. Your glasses are beginning to steam up.
Osgood: [referring to his mother] Right now, she thinks I'm out there on my yacht - deep sea fishing!
Daphne: Well, pull in your reel, Mr. Fielding, you're barking up the wrong fish!
Sugar: Been waiting long?
Junior: [gallantly] It's not how long you wait, it's who you're waiting for!
Junior: Look, if all you're interested in is whether I am married or not...
Sugar: Oh, I'm not interested at all.
Junior: Well, I'm not.
Sugar: That's very interesting!
Sugar: If my mother could only see me now.
Joe: I hope *my* mother never finds out.
Sugar: Story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.
Osgood: I am Osgood Fielding the third.
Daphne: I'm Cinderella the second.
Jerry: Oh no you don't! Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all.
Osgood: Why not?
Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.
Osgood: Doesn't matter.
Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!
Osgood: I don't care.
Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.
Osgood: I forgive you.
Jerry: [tragically] I can never have children!
Osgood: We can adopt some.
Jerry: But you don't understand, Osgood! Ohh...
[Jerry finally gives up and pulls off his wig]
Jerry: [normal voice] I'm a man!
Osgood: [shrugs] Well, nobody's perfect!